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No 2
Oct 3, 2015 11:23:58 GMT
Post by wjmrty on Oct 3, 2015 11:23:58 GMT
John was the cop in a small town where everyone knew each other. One night, during his night patrol, he spotted the town drunk walking down the street looking like he was up to no good.
“Hey!” Said John, rolling down his window. “Your not heading for any trouble, are you?”
“No sir!” Responded the drunkard with a big smile, “I’m heading to a lecture!”
A lecture?! thought the cop incredulously at 1 am!? this I gotta see!
After following him for a few blocks John was surprised to see him going into his house.
“Hey!” John screamed out his window. “I thought you were heading to a lecture?!”
The drunkard just held his index finger and headed inside.
Sure enough within a minute John heard the lecture loud and clear through the upstairs window, “JUST WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING OUT ALL THIS TIME YOU NASTY GOOD-FOR-NOTHING…”
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No 2
Oct 4, 2015 12:57:57 GMT
Post by wjmrty on Oct 4, 2015 12:57:57 GMT
Sam goes to the doctor for his yearly checkup. “Everything is fine”, said the doctor, “You’re doing OK for your age.” “For my age?” questioned Sam, “I’m only 75, do you think I’ll make it to 80? “Well” said the doctor, “do you drink or smoke?” “No” Sam replied. “Do you eat fatty meat or sweets?” “No” said Sam “I am very careful about what I eat.” “How about your activities? Do you engage in thrilling behaviors like speeding or skiing? “No” said Sam taken aback, “I would never engage in dangerous activities.” “Well,” said the doctor, “then why in the world would you want to live to be 80?
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No 2
Oct 6, 2015 11:40:34 GMT
Post by wjmrty on Oct 6, 2015 11:40:34 GMT
As a 7th grade biology teacher, I was teaching my class about the flow of blood in the body. After my lecture I asked the class the following: “Why is it that if I would turn upside down, my face would turn red since the blood would flow to my head, but when I stand upright my feet don’t turn red?” I was taken aback when a boy blurted out, “that’s cuz your feet aint empty!”.
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No 2
Oct 9, 2015 12:02:29 GMT
Post by wjmrty on Oct 9, 2015 12:02:29 GMT
John Sam and Abe, 3 retired friends,would get together every night, rain or shine, to play poker. It was a nice way to pass the time and the men enjoyed it immensely.
John’s wife wasn’t so fond of her husband’s poker playing. She thought it was a dirty and low way to fill his time, but she had long ago resigned herself to her sorry fate, although inside of her, there was always a low flame on the back burner waiting to erupt.
One Wednesday night, after a few nights of boring games, something exciting happened. Sam watched in amusement as John and Abe, each convinced that they had the better hand, slowly put their life savings into the pot. Things started to get really intense when John, running out of available cash, added his car and house into the pot.
When there was no money left to bet on they each showed their cards. As soon as John saw Abe’s cards and realized he had lost, he had a heart attack and died.
“Sam,” asked Abe “how are we going to tell his wife?” “Don’t worry I’ll take care of it” Abe replied.
Abe knocked on John’s door. “John just lost all of your life savings in a poker game,” said Sam when the door was opened. “He’s afraid to come home.”
John’s wife was fuming “HE DID WHAT?!” She screamed. “TELL HIM I DON’T WANT TO EVER SEE HIS FACE AGAIN! TELL HIM TO JUST DROP DEAD!”
“Ok,” said Sam nodding his head, “I’ll tell him just that!”
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